Church

Anyone can "do church".  Anyone can sit and read the Bible.  Anyone can pray.  Anyone can go through the motions.  After having been a Christian for 14 years now, sometimes you get to a point where you feel like you've heard it all.  You start to grow stale, it all becomes old, routine...boring.  Here's where I am now:  I'm not necessarily stale, old, and bored, and I'm not just going through the motions, attending church, praying, and reading the Bible.  Let's see...how do I explain this?  I guess you could say I'm hungry.  Right now my appetite is not easily satiated, is that the right word?  Satisfied I guess?  When I walk out of church sometimes I still feel hungry.

Here's the thing, and this is where I am.  I can have a quiet time every day and do my YouVersion Bible Reading Plan in Psalms and Proverbs every day.  In fact, I have been doing this every day for quite a while now.  I even read through the entire Bible again for the second time.  But here's what I'm saying even to myself:  "So what?"  So because I'm a Christian I'm supposed to go to church, supposed to get plugged in and serve, supposed to pray, supposed to have a quiet time every day...all these things and I've been doing them all.  Sorry, I guess I'm not getting to the point.  What I'm trying to say is that doing all of these things are well and good in and of themselves, but sometimes it's easy for Christians to just get caught up in DOING and not really being....does that make sense at all?  Ugh...I'm searching for the right words and praying that the Holy Spirit will intercede for me here.

What I'm saying is this and the Holy Spirit just brought this Scripture to mind...there is a BIG difference between reading the Bible every day, doing your quiet time and checking it off the list, and allowing the Words of the Lord to LITERALLY be inscribed on your heart.  Engraved...embossed...BURNED on your heart.  THAT'S where I want to be!  The Word says, "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart." in Proverbs 3:3.  So what if I have my quiet time every day and read the Bible every day.  The point is, am I allowing those life-giving Words to melt into my heart so they are a part of me?  Like, ingrained on my soul?  Also, am I to the point in my Christian walk, where these Words are not only engulfing my Spirit, but even more importantly, am I able to regurgitate what I'm learning?

My husband and I went to a marriage retreat at our church where we talked about communication methods for husbands and wives.  They talked about how when your spouse talks, you need to not only listen, but you need to be able to say what they just said back to them so they know you were really listening.  Haha...are you listening?  Did you catch that?  :)  Let me say it in a different way.  For example, your spouse vents to you about how they're really feeling.  Instead of misinterpreting what they said, hearing the wrong thing, and running off on a tangent and getting into a big argument over what you think you heard, try this instead:  Your spouse vents to you about how they're really feeling.  Listen to what they're really saying, not what they're not saying.  Re-state what they said back to them.  Now your spouse feels UNDERSTOOD.

To me, it's the same with Jesus.  We have a love-relationship with Jesus.  He is our Husband and we are His Bride.  His Word was given to us to tell us how He really feels about us.  When was the last time we really listened?  Like.......really listened?  Like spoke His Word back to Him?  I love praise songs that speak Scripture back to Christ.  I really have to think about how I've been communicating with Jesus.  Communing and communicating.  What's the point of just going to church, praying, reading the Bible, serving....if the actual love-relationship is dying?  Is neglected?  Is non-existent?  It's easy to just sit in church and let the Pastor's words hit your heart and bounce right back off.  What I am asking myself is "why don't I let Him come in"?  What I need to do is cleanse my heart daily to make it a place where the Lord wants to dwell.  Where He has free reign.  Is my heart in a condition to receive His Word....not my ears or just my mind, but is my LIFE in a condition to receive His Word?  When I say receive...I mean like envelop, or engulf, or submerge my entire being.

What I want to know, and what my goal for today is.....how do I get there?  How do I get to that point?  That's where I want to be.  Ahh *sigh*....thank You Jesus....while I was posting I was trying to think of the song I had in my head this morning that went along with this post and it went out from me, but the Lord brought it back just now, right here at the end:  "I just want to be where You are....dwelling daily in Your presence...I don't want to worship from afar...I just want to be with You..."  Amen!  Thank You for UNDERSTANDING me Jesus and listening to me....now....help me listen to You and understand You.