My mother Amelia, was born on October 11th, 1947, the youngest of three children. She dropped out of school at the age of 15 and started smoking and drinking. She married and divorced several times in her life....and then she met my Dad. My Dad looked at this woman who had two children with two different men and he loved her....he accepted her....he pursued her. My parents got married in Las Vegas at The Little White Church on December 18, 1975. When my mother was pregnant with me, the doctors discovered she had cervical cancer. They told her they wanted to do a cone biopsy or remove a portion of her cervix, but it would most likely abort me. They told her if they didn't do it, then the cancer could spread and she could possibly die. So, she was faced with a choice...she told them not to do it. The doctors told her to be prepared for this child to be deformed, retarded, or not fully developed.
On Christmas morning, 1978 my mother went to the bathroom at home and felt the umbilical cord hanging out. My Dad rushed her to the hospital and we were put in ICU. My Mom said there were code blues all over the hospital that day. My Mom said the hospital chaplain was there and our pastor at St. Paul's came and he asked my Dad, "Do you want me to baptize your daughter after she comes out?" because they thought I would be dead, and my Mom said my Dad broke down crying. When I came out, I wasn't breathing so the nurses put me off to the side and started working on me and they got me to breathing after about 3 minutes. I only weighed 4 lbs. and 10 oz. No one told me this story until I was about 8 or 9. After that, my Grandpa told the story every Christmas before Christmas dinner. He told me how he sat at his kitchen table and prayed that I would make it.
When I was 9 months old, my mother filed for divorce from my Dad. Like I said, she had been married and divorced many times before....but my father never left me. They lived together for six months after the filing and they were considered "common-law married". Even though he wasn't going to be her husband, he was still going to be my Dad. He never left me or forsook me. When he said "'til death do us part" he meant it. My Dad has only been married once to one woman, my mother. When they say some people have the same view of God that they have for their earthly father figure, this is VERY true for me. When they say women want to marry someone like their Dad, this is VERY true for me. My father never left me...he didn't have to stay, but he did for me. That's how much he loves me, and that's the only kind of love I know how to give away.
I never found out about the divorce filing until I was 22 years old. I was so upset about it that I moved out of my parent's house and in with my best friend's family. I struggled with anger towards my mother for a very long time so I moved to California for awhile just to get farther away from her. I was born and raised in the same, small town all my life and had to have a change of scenery. September 11th happened just a few months before and I thought, "Hey, you only live once right? Why not?" and I thought if I had the opportunity to move, why not try it. So, I left my comfy church, my comfy friends, and my comfy life to go "find myself" outside of my comfort zone in a new place. You wanna know what happened? I lost myself...literally lost myself. I had a few Christian friends around me, but for the most part I was rebelling. I was running. I spent six months in Southern California working a part-time job making $8.00 an hour and had no car or apartment.
During a Mother's Day sermon in May of 2002, I heard someone read the book "Love You Forever" for the first time. I knew I needed to go home. I made the decision to come back home. When I got back, there were a few who said, "I told you so..." but even more who simply received me and loved me again. The thing was, everyone remembered who I was before I left and they were expecting me to be that same person, but I had no clue who that was.
I came crawling back to God like the prodigal son and He received me. He loved me anyway. He chose to bless me with a husband and two beautiful children despite all my mistakes. He chose to give me these blessings to show me how much He loves me! He chose to forgive me and love me anyway! He stayed with me even though I left Him. He walked beside me even though I pushed Him away.
So ask me....ask me if I think God has a plan for my life. Before He laid the foundation of the world, He had a plan for me. Before I was ever born, He set me apart (Jeremiah). Ask me if I believe that He knit me together in my mother's womb? Ask me if I believe that He is the ONLY reason I am alive today? How could I possibly WASTE my life? How could I possibly look God in the eye and say, "You made a mistake." How could I take the life He has given me and selfishly live it for ME?
Please listen to this song and think about what it means to give God EVERYTHING. Click on the link below with the title of the song to hear it:
"Everything (Apron Full of Stains)" by The Normals
(that's me sitting on my Mom's lap, I was 4 yrs old)
I so glad you came back HOME and to Enid.
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