Casting Pearls: Part 2

Don't forget to start with Part 1.  :)

Okay, kiddos are down for their nap after lunch.  So, here we go!  Where did we leave off yesterday?  Oh yeah, I talk too much!  I can't help but think of more songs here, but one song totally comes to mind and totally embraces what I am trying to say:  "Loss for Words" by Tait.  The link is at the bottom so you can listen to it there.  Do you ever have one of those encounters where after it's over, you remember everything you wanted to say?  You can't really remember what you actually said, but you're sure you forgot what you really wanted to say.  So, whatever you did end up saying was probably pointless and meaningless and the real meat of what you planned to say got left out.  I hate it when that happens.  It's funny that the title of this song is called "Loss for Words" because it's more about saying too much than being speechless and not saying enough.  What happens to me is just what the chorus says, "'Cause what I wanted to say, never came out the way I wanted it to, I wanted it to; 'Cause what I wanted to say, only got in the way, I never meant to hurt you, but I didn't have a clue."  That's me all over.  I have no intention of hurting anyone with my words, but that's exactly what ends up happening.  I guess I get surprised when people get hurt because my thought is, "If you really know me, then you should already know my heart and my intentions." and I get shocked when people assume the worst about me and take me superficially at face value.

The end of the song says, "Empty words cannot suffice, I've been running from what I know is right, when only Yours are words of life."  For me, that's the part that really pierces my heart and gets me in my gut because when I am walking daily with the Lord, communing with Him, talking to Him and listening to Him, the Holy Spirit inside of me is strengthened and the Lord is more likely to spill out of me.  When it's me on my own and I'm in my own flesh, I have more of a tendency to speak selfishly.  That's more of the Romans 7 concept of being internally at war with the flesh and the Spirit battling inside of me all the day long.

....sorry for the delay...I was filling out my Spiritual Gifts Survey from church.

When I take the time to step back and really take a look at myself, I see a somewhat narcissistic, outspoken, opinionated, short-tempered, legalistic, over-analytic porcupine with sharp quills that will poison you if you get too close to me.  Wow...did I just say that out loud?  I'm sort of a skunk really, that may appear cute and cuddly on the outside, but if you make me mad I'll spray you off with foul-spelling poison that will wreak for weeks and make you stay away from me!  What I really want to do is dig down even deeper and ask myself, "Who does God say that I am?" "What does God see when He looks at me?" "What kind of person does God desire me to be?"   You know what verses God JUST NOW brought to my heart after typing that out?  Look below:

^"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
~1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

I'll come back to these verses in a minute.  While I was typing out this post, I stopped to do my Spiritual Gifts Survey because it's been sitting there for almost a week now and I haven't done it yet.  I said earlier while talking with friends about how I am feeling, that every time I do a Spiritual Gifts Survey, it comes out that I have the Gift of Prophecy every time.  When I did this one, it actually came out that I have the spiritual gifts of Discernment, Faith, and Mercy.  Prophecy was the next highest on the list followed by Service and Knowledge.  The one statement on the survey that I starred like 10 times because it's the MOST true of me is this:  "I have spiritual insights from Scripture concerning issues and people that compel me to speak out."  THIS is what I have been trying to say.  When I speak out about something, I speak out STRONGLY.  I have a passionate fire burning inside of me that wants to proclaim the Truth and stand up for Justice BOLDLY!  Maybe I should have been a lawyer, (or a politician), I don't know.  When I feel like something is wrong, like common sense wrong, I HAVE to say something about it.  I am more legalistic than I would like to be in that the sky is blue, the grass is green, 1+1=2, black is black, white is white, there's on and there's off, and I DON'T like gray areas.  When something is wrong, it's wrong!  You're either right or you're wrong, you're either hot or cold, you can't be both.  When an injustice has been done, or God's Word defamed, I feel a righteous anger burning inside of me and I HAVE to speak up about it!  It's almost like it goes against everything I am to keep my mouth closed, sit on my hands, and be silent about it!  

The problem happens when I assume that everyone thinks the same way I do.  Often I make the mistake of having this mindset:  "Well if this is true for me, and if everyone is looking at the same thing I am, then they see it the same way I do, right?"  WRONG.  It's like, "Okay, we're all looking up at the sky, right? What color is it? Blue. It's blue to the entire world and the entire human race and to everyone on the face of planet earth, right?"  RIGHT.  So sometimes I feel like every issue should be that way to everyone and I'm shocked sometimes that people don't see things the way I do when they make so much rock-solid sense in my head.  Sometimes it's the same way for the truths of Scripture.  Sin is sin and I can't stand it when people try to excuse sin and shove it under the rug and call it something else!  Do you realize that Jesus died for that sin and He obviously takes it VERY seriously!  Otherwise, He wouldn't have sent His ONE AND ONLY Son to DIE for YOU so you could pretend that what you've done or what you're doing is not so bad.  Here's where God slaps me in the face though, "Who made you Me Wendy and who are you to judge?"  God didn't send me into the world to judge everyone!  God didn't send me into the world to be everyone's Holy Spirit and convict them all of their sin!  It's NOT my job!  Most of the time I need to quit worrying about what everyone else is doing and just worry about my own sins!  What I've been struggling with through these posts though is that I'm still burdened for people when they're making sinful choices that are obviously not lined up with the will of God.  My problem is, "How do I communicate that to them effectively?"  And here is the Lord's answer:

^"1 If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[b] but have not love, I gain nothing."

~1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (NIV)

Ugh...now I am balling.  I have been searching for answers on what the Lord is trying to tell me and He has just answered.  My Spiritual Gifts Survey says I have the gift of prophecy, knowledge, and faith...but so what?  If I can't LOVE people, then I am NOTHING.  How do I communicate the truths of Scripture to people?  How do I get MY REAL HEART out?  How does my life become a pleasing aroma and a blessing to others?  How do I keep friends and loved ones near me without pushing them away?  By LOVING them.  Declaring the Truth and standing up for what I believe in doesn't mean I have to compromise Christ or the Gospel.  The Truth and Christ and the Gospel all have LOVE interwoven through them!  So now I'm on the journey of..."How do I learn to LOVE?"  One of my most favorite lines in the song I shared in one of my earlier posts was, "Jesus, what would You do? Can you teach me how to love like You?" and the chorus is even more powerful and it says, "I wanna give You everything, but I've got nothing of my own at all. And if I give what I have not got, will You fill me up and make me whole?"

This is the cry of my heart.  Please pray for me you all.  I need it!


"Loss for Words" by Tait

Casting Pearls: Part 1

Wow...where do I begin?  Why don't I try at the beginning, that's always a good place to start.  :)  There were a million and one different post titles that came into my mind when thinking of what to call this series of posts, and I have a heart and an idea behind this one, but it might take me awhile to get there.  This is the first in a series of posts, so if you've found yourself at the top, come back down here and start here with Part 1.

There are many songs that sum up the way I feel.  I love music.  I love songs.  I love playing music and I love writing music.  I absolutely love it when a song or a songwriter understands me.  A song that grips me right in the heart and never lets go and stays with me forever.  A song is nothing more than a poem set to music.  I once said in a poem that "To be held on either side is all a poem can ask for, but to be Understood by the Writer is all that the Sinner may need."  That sums up the heart of what I've been trying to say.  All any poem ever wants is to be read by someone.  Why would a writer write it if it was never meant to be read?  Why would a singer write a song if it was never meant to be heard?  I am both a poet and a songwriter and like many poets and songwriters, I have deep feelings, emotions, and truths buried deep inside my heart and an even deeper longing to get them out and voice them somehow.  What is the point of feeling this way and getting it out if it's not a cry to both be understood and to understand someone?  My goal is that someone would read what I write and say, "I have been there before. I understand how you feel. I have felt that way too many times."  I guess it's a longing to be AFFIRMED.  VALIDATED.

When you're the youngest in a family with three older sisters, you're being talked down to all your life and always told what to do.  I've always struggled to feel affirmed and validated.  I guess I've always wondered, "When do I finally get to be old enough to finally know what I'm talking about?"  Now that....that is a question that remains to be answered and could remain to be answered until the day I die.  I'm not that old and I don't claim to have a lot of wisdom, but what I have learned thus far is that even when I'm 99 and on my deathbed, I could still learn something and I'll probably never really "arrive" until I literally arrive in heaven.  Then I will "know as I am known." (song reference to Chris Rice's "And Your Praise Goes On")

So, back to what's on my heart right now.  What is the Lord teaching me right now?  What am I struggling with right now?  There comes a time in everyone's life and I'm there right now, when it's one of those real pruning, breaking, molding, refining, shaping, defining moments in my life.  The times that if you make it through it, you grow up and mature A LOT through it.  Right now, I'm in the middle of it and haven't quite made it to the other side.  Sometimes I used to wish that the trial would just hurry up and be over and I would just be on the other side of it, but lately I've almost strangely grown to LOVE these times.  Another song reference is creeping up.  "Wilderness" by the OC Supertones.  There is really too much in this song to say.  So much of what I am going through and feeling is in this song as in many other songs.  It's one of those mind-folding type of songs where you just have to accept the fact that you don't know it all and fall down and lie on your back and gaze up into the deep, deep sky and believe that God is on the other side.  You have to accept the fact that God's ways are higher than yours and you don't have to know everything right now.  You don't have to know the end of the story.  Just trust in the Author who's writing your story.  I know I keep changing person or perspective as I'm talking.  I'm an English Literature nerd and it's even getting on my own nerves, but I think as I'm writing the Lord is speaking to me so sometimes He changes what "person" or "perspective" I write in.

There's a part in this "Wilderness" song that says, "I have spoken much too soon, put my hand over my mouth, I can't contend with You..." and THAT is where I'm trying to get in this series of blogs.  Wow...overload in my brain with too much to say about this...help me Lord to speak what You will.  I don't know how else to say it, but to just come right out and say it, and it might sound funny to you, but it sure is honest:  I talk too much.  THERE!  I said it!  Amazing how four little words could have so much power behind them.  Four LOADED words.  What God is showing me right now, and it may be a simple concept to some of you that have already learned it, is that the MOUTH is a powerful tool.  For me, when I don't speak with my actual mouth to a person, I type.  I can't even explain in words that make sense how many times this has gotten me into trouble.  Is "gotten" a word?  Well, it is now.  Anyway, get behind me Satan and quit knocking me off track!  The devil doesn't want me to have victory over this!  GO AWAY!

Okay, so God is really revealing to me the power that my words and my tongue really have.  This is the part that's hard for me to explain because unless you have an issue with this too, you might not really understand unless you're me.  This is the best way I can explain it:  Inside my heart and inside my mind, I have GREAT intentions.  I have loving, encouraging, understanding, hopeful, helpful, sweet intentions, but I have the HARDEST time coming off that way.  Since I'm female, I like to "scenario" in my head A LOT.  I will have a conversation or a scenario planned in my head about the way I think it should go.  In my mind, it's beautiful, it's uplifting, it's positive, it's encouraging, and it's LOVING and for whatever reason, as soon as I open my mouth, or my fingers go flying on the keyboard, it comes out WRONG.  I can't even explain how frustrating this is for me.

This is why I feel like my life is summed up in Romans 7:15-21.  "¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. ²¹ So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me."  I have the desire to do what is good, but I CANNOT carry it out.  Inside of me, and inside of many others who may struggle with this, there is a WAR going on...an all-out BATTLE constantly.  My Spirit desires to say the RIGHT thing, the GODLY thing, the truly, sincere, heartfelt, encouraging thing, but my flesh takes over and I cross the line, end up saying something I shouldn't have, I can't keep my mouth shut, and then I hit "Send" and wonder, "What just now happened?"  Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT copping out and BLAMING it on my "sinful flesh" like, "The devil made me do it." "Or, I can't help it, I still live in this fleshly, sinful body." but I guess I'm just working through what the Lord is trying to teach me through this.
  
Does anyone else struggle with this?  Please comment on my Facebook page after you view this, and after you read this (if you've hung in there with me this far).  I'll continue more tomorrow...too much for today already.  See, I told you I talk too much.  :)


In the meantime, listen to the song "Wilderness" by the OC Supertones.  When Justin and I went on our honeymoon, we must have played and replayed this song, over and over and over again one hundred thousand times all the way there and back.  This song is such a wonderful memory for us.  Just click on the blue letters below to hear it:


"Wilderness" by OC Supertones

Let me know if you want me to message you the lyrics.  Otherwise, just listen to it over and over again until you get the chorus down like a cool ska rap like we did!

Apron Full of Stains

Have you ever heard the song "Everything (Apron Full of Stains)" by the band, The Normals?  They were a one-hit wonder Christian band and I am not even sure if they are still together today.  I have ALWAYS loved that song, and today I realized why.  I am surprised it never hit me before.  That song is about my mother.  My mother spent a lot of years working as a waitress.

My mother Amelia, was born on October 11th, 1947, the youngest of three children.  She dropped out of school at the age of 15 and started smoking and drinking.  She married and divorced several times in her life....and then she met my Dad.  My Dad looked at this woman who had two children with two different men and he loved her....he accepted her....he pursued her.  My parents got married in Las Vegas at The Little White Church on December 18, 1975.  When my mother was pregnant with me, the doctors discovered she had cervical cancer.  They told her they wanted to do a cone biopsy or remove a portion of her cervix, but it would most likely abort me.  They told her if they didn't do it, then the cancer could spread and she could possibly die.  So, she was faced with a choice...she told them not to do it.  The doctors told her to be prepared for this child to be deformed, retarded, or not fully developed.

On Christmas morning, 1978 my mother went to the bathroom at home and felt the umbilical cord hanging out.  My Dad rushed her to the hospital and we were put in ICU.  My Mom said there were code blues all over the hospital that day.  My Mom said the hospital chaplain was there and our pastor at St. Paul's came and he asked my Dad, "Do you want me to baptize your daughter after she comes out?" because they thought I would be dead, and my Mom said my Dad broke down crying.  When I came out, I wasn't breathing so the nurses put me off to the side and started working on me and they got me to breathing after about 3 minutes.  I only weighed 4 lbs. and 10 oz.  No one told me this story until I was about 8 or 9.  After that, my Grandpa told the story every Christmas before Christmas dinner.  He told me how he sat at his kitchen table and prayed that I would make it.

When I was 9 months old, my mother filed for divorce from my Dad.  Like I said, she had been married and divorced many times before....but my father never left me.  They lived together for six months after the filing and they were considered "common-law married".  Even though he wasn't going to be her husband, he was still going to be my Dad.  He never left me or forsook me.  When he said "'til death do us part" he meant it.  My Dad has only been married once to one woman, my mother.  When they say some people have the same view of God that they have for their earthly father figure, this is VERY true for me.  When they say women want to marry someone like their Dad, this is VERY true for me.  My father never left me...he didn't have to stay, but he did for me.  That's how much he loves me, and that's the only kind of love I know how to give away.

I never found out about the divorce filing until I was 22 years old.  I was so upset about it that I moved out of my parent's house and in with my best friend's family.  I struggled with anger towards my mother for a very long time so I moved to California for awhile just to get farther away from her.  I was born and raised in the same, small town all my life and had to have a change of scenery.  September 11th happened just a few months before and I thought, "Hey, you only live once right? Why not?" and I thought if I had the opportunity to move, why not try it.  So, I left my comfy church, my comfy friends, and my comfy life to go "find myself" outside of my comfort zone in a new place.  You wanna know what happened?  I lost myself...literally lost myself.  I had a few Christian friends around me, but for the most part I was rebelling.  I was running.  I spent six months in Southern California working a part-time job making $8.00 an hour and had no car or apartment.

During a Mother's Day sermon in May of 2002, I heard someone read the book "Love You Forever" for the first time.  I knew I needed to go home.  I made the decision to come back home.  When I got back, there were a few who said, "I told you so..." but even more who simply received me and loved me again.  The thing was, everyone remembered who I was before I left and they were expecting me to be that same person, but I had no clue who that was.

I came crawling back to God like the prodigal son and He received me.  He loved me anyway.  He chose to bless me with a husband and two beautiful children despite all my mistakes.  He chose to give me these blessings to show me how much He loves me!  He chose to forgive me and love me anyway!  He stayed with me even though I left Him.  He walked beside me even though I pushed Him away.

So ask me....ask me if I think God has a plan for my life.  Before He laid the foundation of the world, He had a plan for me.  Before I was ever born, He set me apart (Jeremiah).  Ask me if I believe that He knit me together in my mother's womb?  Ask me if I believe that He is the ONLY reason I am alive today?  How could I possibly WASTE my life?  How could I possibly look God in the eye and say, "You made a mistake."  How could I take the life He has given me and selfishly live it for ME?

Please listen to this song and think about what it means to give God EVERYTHING.  Click on the link below with the title of the song to hear it:

"Everything (Apron Full of Stains)" by The Normals

(that's me sitting on my Mom's lap, I was 4 yrs old)

Ephesians 4:1

Hey Everybody!  Well, I'm in a funk.  I don't know what it is.  I'm in one of those stages where I have a lot on my mind and a lot on my heart, but can't quite put it all into words.  That happens to me a lot and it's frustrating.  Sometimes I read other people's blogs, books, posts, statuses, and blurps and think, "Now why didn't I think of that?" or "I wish I had come up with that." or "I wish I had said that first."  Do you ever feel that way?  I guess I am in a funk at this moment where I don't feel quite like I'm making a difference or an impact on anyone's life.  Maybe I am, but not a big enough impact...big enough for who?  Who am I trying to impress?  There's a lot that goes through my mind on a day to day basis, but unfortunately, with a husband, two baby kids, and a house to take care of, I'm not always by the computer to jot it all down.

A couple of weeks ago now, I was going through my old room at my parent's house and I found the very first bulletin from my very first worship service at First Baptist Church of Enid.  I also found a letter that the minister at the time had written to me.  I even found the card I had filled out as a visitor.  I came to FBC in the summer of 1998 right before the church split.  In September of 1998 I began working at Kinder Konnection, the church daycare.  During my freshman year of college at UCO, shortly after I was saved, our BSU president took us on a trip to Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas.  While I was there, I attended a few different sessions.  I really felt like the Lord might call me into some type of music ministry, but I attended some youth sessions and Christian family counseling sessions and felt the Lord calling me into youth ministry.  I wrote THREE poems while I was there as the Lord confirmed this in my heart.  So, while at First I began helping in the youth ministry.

Now that I've been attending First Baptist Church for over 13 years now, it's interesting to see the way things have happened over the years.  Different life events have happened that have caused me to weave in and out of the youth ministry.  I've been out of high school for 14 years now and never went to church or youth group growing up.  That's part of why I want to be there.  I think to myself, "What did I need at this age?" "Who tried to influence me for Christ at this age?" "Can I be what I needed at this age to someone who needs me now?"

...but now....now I'm a mother...

Now I have children of my own and it's quite amazing how this life event has changed my heart and how I see the youth of our church. (crying now)  The Lord has blessed me and my husband with both a son and a daughter.  Now when I look into these young boy's faces, I see my son.  Now, when I look into these beautiful young girl's eyes...I see my daughter.  Now, before I approach them, interact with them, or speak with them, I always think, "How would I treat my daughter?" "What would I say to my very own son?"

Sometimes I feel caught in a place that many parents must find themselves.  I'm struggling between being their friend and being their authority.  On one hand, I want to relate to them, be hip with the latest lingo and newest technology, and really "fit in" their world.  On the other hand, I want to show them that CHRIST IS ALL.  Why am I even afraid of fitting in, worrying about whether or not they like me, or saying and doing the "right thing"...really the cool thing.  Why am I not more worried about saying the real RIGHT THING, standing up to them, and not compromising the Truth that lives inside of me?

I guess what I'm really feeling today is convicted.  I have been idle.  I have been silent when I should have spoke up.  I have compromised.  I think about all the opportunities I've missed.  They have viewed me as a leader over the years and where have I lead them?  I guess a little bit of Revival is happening in my own heart.  I'm just really convicted by the thought that one day I am going to give an account to the Lord for what I've done with what He's given me.  He's gonna ask me, "Wendy, do you remember when I called you into the ministry that morning at 3am by the volleyball court at UCO? It was just you and Me and I asked you to let go of music and to fill both of your hands with Me to join me in making a beautiful sand castle out of your life. What did you do with the calling I gave you?"  He's gonna ask me, "What did you do with the husband I gave you?" and "What did you do with the children I gave you?", but what about the calling He gave me?  What about the purpose He created me for?  Have I really been living out Ephesians 4:1?  Why not?

Time to get on my knees and pray...

Psalm 123

“Psalm 123”

“I lift up my eyes to You,

To You whose throne is in heaven.

As the eyes of slaves

Look to the hand of their Master…

So our eyes look to the Lord our God,

Till He shows us His mercy.

Have mercy on us, O Lord

Have mercy on us…” (Psalm 123:1-3)

For we are a people of unclean hands

A people whose lips are dirty

We have wandered like sheep gone astray

And now, we want to be found

We have forgotten the sound of Your Shepherd voice

And have learned the tone of the world

We have acted on our own wants and needs

Forgetting that You stand ready to change them

To make them Your desires

Teach us what it means to delight ourselves in You

May Your ears be attentive to our cries for mercy

Our sin prevents our standing

We cannot stand in Your love

We cannot walk in Your way

Until we decide to turn around and run for You

In relentless pursuit of a pure, holy passion

Remind us Lord

Tell us who we are in You

Show us what You did for us

Oh God, pierce our hearts

In the same way the nails pierced Your Son

Let our hearts be broken

We want to feel again

We want to love again

Because You loved us first

Teach us to love in the same way

Let us free Your Holy Spirit within us

To reign in us…for always

Let us lift up our eyes to You

To You whose throne is in heaven

Acknowledging You as our Shepherd and King

May we lift up our faces absent of shame.

Wendy Mae Johnson

6-18-03

Your Love Is Better Than Ice Cream

I think the title of this post is actually the title to a Sarah McLachlan song on the soundtrack of the movie "Bed of Roses" (GREAT MOVIE!) but anyway...I just couldn't help but share this and there isn't enough room for it on a Facebook status.  After I just got done listening to John Piper's first sermon as pastor at Bethlehem Baptist, I wanted to fix myself a snack while Isaac was still sleeping.  Jenna was awake and was reading a book on the floor.  So, I snuck into the kitchen to fix myself some sliced peaches and ice cream.  Mmmm....when I was little I would watch my Grandma mix fruit with her ice cream or her cottage cheese and I thought, "YUCK! Just give me one or the other, but not both together."  Now that I have her chair in my house, it's like her essence is here or something.  :)  Anyways...so, I fixed myself some peaches and ice cream.  It wasn't long before the sound of putting my snack together brought two big, beautiful, hungry brown eyes around the corner.  I cannot resist that little girl's beautiful face.  While I was finishing scooping the ice cream into the bowl, I heard Isaac say, "Mommy, Isaac have ice cream?" and I'm like, "When did you wake up?"  Sincerely, I was trying to be quiet so I could have this snack to myself, but growing up I always remember the sound my Dad made when he scraped his ice cream out of his bowl with his spoon.  So...I guess I was loud.

So, I took a little more ice cream since I knew I would be sharing and then headed into the living room with my community spoon and bowl and sat down on the couch.  Isaac sat down and kept scooting closer and closer to me and Jenna kept getting closer and closer to me.  It was so cute.  Isaac said, "Please Mommy, have ice cream?" and I said, "Here you go Isaac and thank you for asking so nicely..." so then Jenna started..."Please, please....ice keem, ice keem" she said.  Isaac looked at her and said, "Say thank you Jenna...tell Mommy thank you..." and Jenna would say, "Tank ooo...." after each bite.  Then Isaac started saying and signing, "More ice cream Mommy, please..." and he would do the signs for "more" and "please" and "thank you" and then Jenna would plead after she'd watch Isaac take a bite, "Peeze" "Mo" "Tank Ooo..." and she would try the signs too.  After every bite they would just plead and plead..."Please, more Mommy...more Mommy...MORE!"

And then it hit me....when I sit down to read my Bible and do my quiet time, it's like having a "spiritual snack".  I am sitting down, curling up in the Lord's lap to get closer to Him.  I am about to partake of the Lord's Word, my Bread of Life.  Why can't my attitude be like that of a child?  Please Lord, MORE, give me MORE, I want MORE.  Sometimes I feel like that in a praise and worship session.  When it's a short one and it's over too soon before I really got to worship.  Sometimes I feel like a pleading child, "More Lord, I wanted to sing MORE."  On those occasions I long for heaven when we'll get to sing, sing, sing and NEVER get tired.  What joy shall fill my heart indeed!  This song just came to mind..."Lord, I want to know You more, deep within my heart I want to know You, Lord I want to know You, and I would give my final breath, just to know Your death and resurrection...'cause Lord I want to know You more...Lord I want to know You more..."

I am thankful for the children the Lord has given to me to teach me these beautiful lessons.

In Moments Like These

Yes, I am going through a trial.  I am doing all I know how to do which is RUN relentlessly into my Father's arms.  It is through this suffering that I am made like Him.  I would never know Him like this otherwise.  I want to soak Him up.  I want to breathe Him in.  I want to be nearer...ever nearer.  I don't want to focus on the trial, I want to focus on Christ.  It is very true that the more this desire increases, the enemy is right there to stop it.  It is a war going on all the time in the spiritual realms.  Sometimes I see it and sometimes I feel it.  I see dark shadows out of the corner of my eye and I feel the cold.

I think it would be easy to give in to depression or anxiety.  There are honestly some days when I feel depressed or anxious, but I have to cling to the Truth that "our God IS greater, our God is stronger, our God is higher than any other".  Sometimes when I'm depressed I feel that way for so long that I almost get comfortable feeling like that.  Anxiety and panic are powerful things.  People say, "Oh, just pray about it." or "Just relax..." "Just calm down..." and sometimes when you're in the middle of a panic attack, it's all you can do to just take one breath...one deep cleansing breath and calm down. Lately, when these feelings come upon me, I literally have to drop down to the ground, wherever I am and PRAY.  I have done this in the living room, in the hallway, in the bedroom, in the bathroom...by a chair, by the bed, in the middle of the floor, by the dishwasher.  It doesn't really matter...what's awesome, amazing, and comforting is that the Lord IS THERE...He's EVERYWHERE.

For anyone else who has ever felt an anxiety or panic attack, sometimes you're trying so hard to calm yourself down and get your mind off of it, that you're actually making it worse.  It's like the pink elephant thing.  Don't think of pink elephants, okay, what-are-you-thinking-about thing.  For me, some type of soothing music helps and lately, listening to John Piper sermons helps.  Sometimes when you're in a season of dwelling under a cloud of depression, you can almost start to feel safer there than when you were out from under it.  I don't know if that makes sense to anyone.  Again, it's a very "powerful" thing.  It's almost like your mind is playing tricks on you.  It's very hard to explain to someone who has never felt it or been there before.  Again, people tell you, "Look on the bright side of things..." or "Don't worry, be happy..." or again, "Just pray about it, just read your Bible, just worship..." and it's like they can say that all they want, but actually making it happen is a totally different thing.

I guess the only advice I can offer, having been there before and even going through it now at times is, you can't FOCUS on the anxiety, the panic, or the depression.  You can't let it take over your mind.  Put Christ back in the Center, as the Focus, as the balance.  I'm not much of a New Age Eastern meditation type person, but in one way I understand it.  I'm not talking about "finding yourself" or digging in deeper to your soul to find the real you or something weird.  I'm talking about finding Christ.  I'm talking about tapping into the REAL power of the Holy Spirit.  I can honestly say that THAT energy is ALL that sustains me.  "In him we live and move and have our being..."  He is the ONLY reason I get out of bed every day.  He is the ONLY reason I breathe in and out every moment.  Knowing that this trial is a "light and momentary affliction" gives me peace...gives me hope...

I literally have to pray OUT LOUD to God and cry out to Him, acknowledge Him as the Author of my life and literally cling to the fact that He allowed this for a Kingdom reason and He will see me to the other side.  He hand-picked this trial especially for me.  He never intended for me to handle it alone.  I, on my own, in my own power am NOT capable of handling it and that's OKAY!  That's where God WANTS me to be.  If I thought I could handle it, then what would I need Him for?  Living in utter dependence upon Him for every single moment is right where He wants me to be.  It's the safest place on this earth.

What about the people who don't know this?  Who don't have this hope?  The people who try to handle it all, but they don't have to.  Do they know they don't have to?  I have to tell someone...I have to tell someone NOW!  How can I keep this all to myself?  "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM indeed."  Doesn't everyone want to be free?

Church

Anyone can "do church".  Anyone can sit and read the Bible.  Anyone can pray.  Anyone can go through the motions.  After having been a Christian for 14 years now, sometimes you get to a point where you feel like you've heard it all.  You start to grow stale, it all becomes old, routine...boring.  Here's where I am now:  I'm not necessarily stale, old, and bored, and I'm not just going through the motions, attending church, praying, and reading the Bible.  Let's see...how do I explain this?  I guess you could say I'm hungry.  Right now my appetite is not easily satiated, is that the right word?  Satisfied I guess?  When I walk out of church sometimes I still feel hungry.

Here's the thing, and this is where I am.  I can have a quiet time every day and do my YouVersion Bible Reading Plan in Psalms and Proverbs every day.  In fact, I have been doing this every day for quite a while now.  I even read through the entire Bible again for the second time.  But here's what I'm saying even to myself:  "So what?"  So because I'm a Christian I'm supposed to go to church, supposed to get plugged in and serve, supposed to pray, supposed to have a quiet time every day...all these things and I've been doing them all.  Sorry, I guess I'm not getting to the point.  What I'm trying to say is that doing all of these things are well and good in and of themselves, but sometimes it's easy for Christians to just get caught up in DOING and not really being....does that make sense at all?  Ugh...I'm searching for the right words and praying that the Holy Spirit will intercede for me here.

What I'm saying is this and the Holy Spirit just brought this Scripture to mind...there is a BIG difference between reading the Bible every day, doing your quiet time and checking it off the list, and allowing the Words of the Lord to LITERALLY be inscribed on your heart.  Engraved...embossed...BURNED on your heart.  THAT'S where I want to be!  The Word says, "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart." in Proverbs 3:3.  So what if I have my quiet time every day and read the Bible every day.  The point is, am I allowing those life-giving Words to melt into my heart so they are a part of me?  Like, ingrained on my soul?  Also, am I to the point in my Christian walk, where these Words are not only engulfing my Spirit, but even more importantly, am I able to regurgitate what I'm learning?

My husband and I went to a marriage retreat at our church where we talked about communication methods for husbands and wives.  They talked about how when your spouse talks, you need to not only listen, but you need to be able to say what they just said back to them so they know you were really listening.  Haha...are you listening?  Did you catch that?  :)  Let me say it in a different way.  For example, your spouse vents to you about how they're really feeling.  Instead of misinterpreting what they said, hearing the wrong thing, and running off on a tangent and getting into a big argument over what you think you heard, try this instead:  Your spouse vents to you about how they're really feeling.  Listen to what they're really saying, not what they're not saying.  Re-state what they said back to them.  Now your spouse feels UNDERSTOOD.

To me, it's the same with Jesus.  We have a love-relationship with Jesus.  He is our Husband and we are His Bride.  His Word was given to us to tell us how He really feels about us.  When was the last time we really listened?  Like.......really listened?  Like spoke His Word back to Him?  I love praise songs that speak Scripture back to Christ.  I really have to think about how I've been communicating with Jesus.  Communing and communicating.  What's the point of just going to church, praying, reading the Bible, serving....if the actual love-relationship is dying?  Is neglected?  Is non-existent?  It's easy to just sit in church and let the Pastor's words hit your heart and bounce right back off.  What I am asking myself is "why don't I let Him come in"?  What I need to do is cleanse my heart daily to make it a place where the Lord wants to dwell.  Where He has free reign.  Is my heart in a condition to receive His Word....not my ears or just my mind, but is my LIFE in a condition to receive His Word?  When I say receive...I mean like envelop, or engulf, or submerge my entire being.

What I want to know, and what my goal for today is.....how do I get there?  How do I get to that point?  That's where I want to be.  Ahh *sigh*....thank You Jesus....while I was posting I was trying to think of the song I had in my head this morning that went along with this post and it went out from me, but the Lord brought it back just now, right here at the end:  "I just want to be where You are....dwelling daily in Your presence...I don't want to worship from afar...I just want to be with You..."  Amen!  Thank You for UNDERSTANDING me Jesus and listening to me....now....help me listen to You and understand You.

I Love Mornings

I have always been an early morning person.  I love early mornings when the sun is just beginning to come up and bring light into the darkness.  I love early mornings with my children.  The day is new, there's no yelling, screaming, fighting, or stress....everything is new.  This morning, I walked down the hall and I saw my daughter sitting up in her bed.  When she saw me, she gave me a sweet, "Momma...momma..." music to my ears.  I picked her up, held her close, and danced with her in her room for about half an hour.  She never moved....never pulled away....never tried to get down.

I cherish those times with her.  I prayed over her as I held her...cried tears into her hair.  I bet God knows how many tears I have cried in prayer for my children.  I think the #1 thing any parent can do for their child is to PRAY for them.  The #2 thing any parent can do for their child is to LOVE them.  I can honestly say without hesitation that I have prayed with and for my children every single day since the day I first found out I was pregnant with Isaac.  Not ONE day has gone by that I haven't prayed with or for them.  Also, not ONE day has gone by that I haven't told them that I love them.

I can also most assuredly say that my husband and I have not gone ONE day without saying, "I love you..." to each other.  It's probably the best, single piece of advice we've ever received.  At our rehearsal dinner before our wedding, my father-in-law got up to speak and I have never forgotten what he said.  He said to make sure that you ALWAYS tell your spouse that you love them before you leave, get off the phone, or go to bed.  You HAVE to say it EVERY DAY.  Coming from a woman who never heard "I love you" from her father growing up, it has been the most healing thing to hear it from my husband every day.  I know saying it can get "old" for some people or they begin just saying it and not really meaning it.

For me, my earthly father showed me he loved me by what he did for me.  So, I knew he loved me because of his actions, but he never said it.  So, I think my love language is "acts of service" and then "words of affirmation".  I don't know...it's both.  I used to think it was "physical touch", but now that we've been married almost 8 years next month, I really think it's "acts of service" first and then "words of affirmation".  I'm excited to learn what they are for my children.  I think it's safe to say that physical touch and words of affirmation are important for any child.

As a mother, I have to remember that I set the tone for the environment of my entire household.  The saying is true, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."  :)  Please don't get me wrong, I in no way have this concept down-pat at ALL.  There are many days when my husband gets home from work and I'm stressed out with the kids, tired, hungry, and just need a break.  He walks in, I give him a dirty look, dinner is burning and I've got diapers to change and messes to clean up.  I have a choice at that very moment of how I'm going to respond to my situation and circumstances.  Do I want my husband to walk into a warzone?  Some days are like that aren't they?

Think about how your house smells...I'm not talking about smelly plug-ins from Bath & Body Works or Lysol sprays and Glade candles.  I'm talking about "What scents are fragrant in your home?"  Are LOVE, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, and FAITHFULNESS fragrant in your home?  You know what it's like to walk into a house where warm bread is baking in the oven...ahhh *sigh* the smell of COMFORT.  Maybe it's the smell of bacon cooking and coffee brewing....maybe it's roast with potatoes and carrots and onions for you....I don't know what it is, but a scent that reminds you of COMFORT.  Are you creating an environment of comfort for your family?  Does your husband feel comfortable in your home?  Do your children feel comfortable in your home?  If not, why not?

I have to ask myself this EVERY DAY.

New Blog Again

Hello EVERYONE!

Greetings from my THIRD, yes I said that right, THIRD blog!  I used to have a blog at www.justysguitargirl.blogspot.com, my very first one.  Then I had a blog at www.keepingupwiththejoneses-wendy.blogspot.com when I had my old GMail address.  So, I have just spent most of the afternoon CONSOLIDATING EVERYTHING into ONE!  This ONE!  My FINAL blog!  :)  So, this blog contains ALL 64 posts that I wrote from 2004-2010 and this is my first post of 2011!  So, I hope I can stick with it this time!  For anyone who is bored out of their gourd, HAPPY READING!  I'll post more NEW stuff tomorrow!

Well...Hello Stranger!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Wow!  Can we say it has been a LOOOONG time since I've posted?  Let's see...the last post was in March before we had Jenna and it is now...um...OCTOBER!  Sorry, sorry...guess I'm not very good at this blogging thing.  I really don't make as much time for it as I could.  Let's just say I've been BUSY! 

So, where do I begin?  We had Jenna on April 20th of 2010.  That is a LONG story.  Long story short, my due date was April 16th and she never came.  I was having contractions all the time, but not much progression.  We scheduled the induction for Tuesday, April 20th because I really didn't want to have my baby on the same day as the Oklahoma City bombing.  A lot of people told me it would have been a beautiful day either way and even if I would have done it on April 19th, God would have used a day that meant death to some, to bring light and life into the world through Jenna.  Anyway, we decided on the 20th. 

I had a hard time grasping the concept of induction only because I guess in my heart and mind I felt like I was forcing something that I felt should happen naturally.  I really, really struggled with it internally.  We had friends calling us every day, "Is she here yet? Are you at the hospital? Is Wendy in labor?" and the more they called, the more it stressed me out.  Everywhere we went, everyone asked, "When are you due? What was your due date? Are you having contractions? How are you feeling?" and it was so hard telling everyone that the due date had passed and everyone was looking at us like they were waiting for me to burst and I couldn't handle the pressure anymore!  I didn't understand why Jenna was taking so long, I figured once we scheduled the induction, she would come right out, just like Isaac did.  We scheduled an induction for February 2nd with him and he was like, "Nuh uh! 'Ain't nobody tellin' ME when to come out!" and he came the very next day (January 28th) after we scheduled the induction and my water broke with him.  I guess I was just expecting the experience to be the same with Jenna...I was just waiting for the big event to happen and it never did.  I would stand in Jenna's room and cry in the middle of night and look into her crib and try to imagine her being there and it made me so sad that she just wouldn't get here! 

On the other side of the spectrum, I was interally in anguish in my heart thinking that this would probably be my last pregnancy and the last time I would feel a baby inside me and I didn't want her to leave my body.  It was the worst internal heart battle I have ever experienced and I could honestly say it was excruciating.  I don't know if any other Mommy's out there have ever felt the same way or can relate to or understand me.  My soul was literally in agony in those last few days.  Part of me wanted the pregnancy to be over because I was physically in pain and was just ready for some relief for my back and my bones and muscles.  I was also concerned that the longer she stayed inside, the bigger she would get and then I would have to have a C-section.  I didn't have to have one with Isaac and I didn't want to have one with Jenna although I knew that any way they got her out, as long as we were both safe and healthy, it would be fine. 

So, I did what I usually do in situations where my soul is torn and I called my sister Chantel.  I told her my fears and concerns about inducing and she eased all of my worries.  By the time I got off the phone with her, I let my husband know that I wanted to go ahead with the induction because we were about to cancel it and call the whole thing off and just let Jenna come when she was good and ready.  So, we went ahead with it.  It actually turned out great and a lot easier because we could plan for Isaac's care while I was in the hospital.  I could pack Isaac's bag and food and bathtime and bedtime "supplies" and prepare and relax and take care of everything the night before.  When the "event" happens fast, you don't have time to do all that packing and planning.  So, I actually really liked the idea of it being "scheduled" after that.  We were able to leave Isaac with my in-laws for his first-ever overnight stay without us and we went home and watched the video of Isaac's birth just in case it would help Jenna along on that final night.  I had contractions all night, but still no baby...

Wow...I could write all day...I really, really want to finish this story, but I think I will save Jenna's actual birth day for a seperate post so this one isn't so long...so....so long, farewell!

Blink

Saturday, March 6, 2010

On Monday night Justin and I were headed to the YMCA to cancel our membership.  It is a monthly expense we can do without for now.  I was driving, Isaac was behind me safely buckled in his carseat in the backseat, and Justin was in the passenger seat.  Justin and I had our seatbelts on.  We were driving down the road and I was telling him about a story I just saw on the news.  The news story was about a drunk driver rear-ending a family of four and killing a 5-year old boy and injuring a 3-year old girl.  So, here we were at a stoplight and I was looking at the cross-traffic stoplights to see when they were going to turn yellow, then red, and then mine would turn green.  So, the lights turned yellow, I inched forward a tiny bit...they turned red, mine turned green and I started going.  Justin yelled, "Stop...STOP!" and I quickly turned to my left to see the headlights of a pickup truck coming right at me!  As the pickup crossed the street in front of me at full speed, I honked my horn and as he went by I saw him eventually brake when he was way past the intersection.  I went through the intersection and parked at the Y and Justin got out to cancel the membership.  Isaac started crying a little bit when Justin got out of the car, and just hearing his little tiny voice made me break down and start balling.  I couldn't believe what just about happened.  I kept thinking, "I am almost nine months pregnant...that guy didn't even know...he didn't even look...he wasn't even going to stop...I wouldn't have stopped if Justin wouldn't have been with me...the impact would have been completely on me and Jenna...we could be in the hospital right now...he could have killed us both...we could have just been another story in tomorrow's newspaper..." and it took me awhile to gather myself.  I drove home rather slowly and cautiously, still quite shaken up.  When we got home, we went in the house and I was crying and Justin handed Isaac to me and said, "Isaac, give Mommy squeezes and let her know we're okay..." and I just held him and balled.

A few days later I heard this song on the radio.  It's a new song by a new Christian band and I LOVE IT!  The band's name is "Revive" and the song is called "Blink" and I do not know all the words, but the chorus says, "It happens in a blink, it happens in a flash, it happens in the time it took to look back..." and then I read the following verses I had written in my journal several years ago:  "Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath. But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you." ~Psalm 39:4-5, 7 (NIV) and when I read about why the band wrote the song, they said they were inspired by Psalm 90 where it says, "teach us to number our days" and they were challenged to evaluate their lives and what they were doing with their lives.  It was the same way I was challenged on that night our lives were nearly taken.  It really made me think and praise God for another day.  I hope you will all be challenged by the song's message.

Blue Skies Looking At Me, Nothing But Blue Skies Do I See

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

YAY!  Today it is sunny outside for the first time in a long time!  We have had so much snowy, cold, nasty, dreary weather and today there is nothing but blue sky!  :)  All I have to say is this improves my mood greatly.  It's amazing how much the weather affects your mood.  I'm still feeling quite tired, but I guess that's to be expected in these last few weeks of pregnancy.  Also, keeping up with a 1-year old while I'm this pregnant drains me as well.  :)  I know a million women have done it and I'm no different and geez, think about the woman in Arkansas who has 19 children!  Think she ever gets tired?  HA!  I'm sure she does.  She also has a lot of older children who are able to help her around the house and with the younger kiddos too!  So, I can't complain.  :)

I've been re-reading a book called "What the Bible Says About Parenting" by John MacArthur and I really like it.  We went through it with our home group from church.  Of course, we had snow days and holidays going on during our meetings so we had to skip a few weeks, so I honestly didn't finish the book and really study it the way I should have.  I guess all I have to say about it is I wish sometimes that we could go back to the way things were in the 20's or maybe even the 30's, 40's, and 50's.  I know it's silly to want to go back in time and it will never happen, but I guess you hear about so many things now that they NEVER heard of back then.  Back then, kids didn't have video games, TV, the Internet, cell phones, iPods...kids played outside and they respected their parents.  Right now the book is talking about isolating your children from the world's influences and it actually says that you should NOT do that.  You shouldn't isolate your children so much from the world that they are prude about it.  I mean, if it were up to me, we wouldn't even own a TV or a computer because I don't want my children to see or hear half the stuff that is on it.  The book says rather than ignore all that stuff or just pretend it isn't there, instead give your children a Godly view of these things.  If they are going to watch a show or a movie they shouldn't, allow them to, and then discuss it with them.  Watch it with them and discuss what they saw.  The book does say that there is a lot on TV and the Internet that children SHOULD be shielded from, and we have to sift what we can, but completely banning it could cause more harm than good in some situations.

Basically, the main jest of what I've read so far is just challenging parents to get back involved in their children's lives.  Have a family night.  Eat dinner together and turn off the TV and TALK.  Ask your children questions.  Find out who their friends are.  Find out where their HEARTS are.  It's not about being nosey, it's just about being aware.  Justin and I think it's really funny when we read stuff like this and talk about it in groups because our son is 1-year old, hello...it's not like he's an adolescent or teenager yet.  We're not even close!  :)  I guess we're just getting prepared.  We're not even at the stages a lot of these books talk about and who knows what our children will be like or what we'll be like when we get there, but like I said, I guess we're just getting prepared.  It's good to know what to expect ahead of time and equip yourself with the tools you'll need to encounter those situations.

Wow...I could talk about this stuff all day.  This is just the tip of the iceberg...I'll write more about it later!  Now back to watching my son Isaac be adorable and cuter than ever!  He says "Uh-oh!" now and it is adorable!  He is really getting into things and he is so curious and I love it!  He loves to see how things work!  His Daddy loves to work on things and fix things and I bet Isaac will be a Mr. Fixit too!  Isaac loves to crawl underneath things and figure out how they're put together.  He also LOVES music and dancing!  He loves to sing, loves to dance, loves music, loves rhythm!  :)  With two musical parents, hopefully he'll have something musical in his future.  I can't wait to hear his little voice sing!  Speaking of his wonderful curiosity...I better go!  FUN TIMES!  Later everyone!

SuperBowl Fun

Monday, February 8, 2010

Boo hoo! Football season is over! Last night's SuperBowl match-up was a really exciting game if I do say so myself. It wasn't boring and it wasn't full of flags and penalties. I am really glad that the Saints won their first SuperBowl ever. I think Drew Brees is an awesome, Christian guy and seeing him with his son last night was really touching. I felt bad for Manning when he threw the turnover, I really like Peyton Manning a lot. If the Colts would have been in it with anyone else, besides Minnesota, I would have rooted for them. I think they really ran the first half and played very well.

What can I say? My husband has taught me A LOT about football! I would have to say it is my favorite sport to watch. He is now getting me into basketball, but I don't understand everything about it yet as well as I do football. I like the speed of basketball, how everything's always moving and it's exciting and the game can change quickly very easily. Sometimes football can be slow with all the time-outs, huddles, commercial time, penalties, and reviews, but I still like it. I really like college football better than pro until it comes to the playoffs and the SuperBowl. I can understand how men get sad when it's all over. Then comes March Madness and in Summer there's the NBA Championships and stuff, and then Fall and College Football!

I would have to say my least favorite sport is....don't anyone yell at me....baseball. I would probably rather watch a game live than on TV. My Dad is pretty much the only person I can watch baseball with. Actually, I could watch any sport with my Dad, even golf and fishing! I think baseball, golf, and fishing are all very boring and slow if I try to watch them myself, but for some reason, when I'm with my Dad I can get into it. I guess I've learned more about baseball from all the baseball movies there've been, and there are some baseball movies I like, and some I just can't get into. I think if I were a guy I would feel a lot differently about baseball. I can't understand it the way they do, but from a distance, I do somewhat understand their connection with playing catch. There's probably nothing like a good game of catch between two people. You don't have to talk, don't have to say anything, but during that game and after you're done, you've probably said a lot without using any words at all. I can somewhat get that, but not like a guy probably does.

Anyways, last night was really fun and we invited Justin's parents over to watch the game. I made taco soup and they brought some snacks and it was all really good! Here is my taco soup recipe in case anyone is interested: 1 lb lean ground beef, browned and drained; 1 packet taco seasoning (mild or original, whatever you prefer); 1 can ranch style beans (if you use kidney beans I've heard you have less gas); 1 can diced tomatoes (you could get Rotel tomatoes too, again mild or original); 1 can whole kernel corn; 1 packet Ranch dressing mix (I use Hidden Valley); Fritos corn chips; and shredded cheddar cheese. (I suppose optionally you could add diced onion to your meat if you like onions and spicy). You just mix everything together in a soup pot or crock pot, add at least one can of water, more if you have more people, simmer it all on low, and eat it with Fritos and cheddar cheese on top! Or, if you're like my husband, you put your Fritos on the bottom of your dish, put the soup on top, and then the cheese. YUM!

Try it and let me know how it turns out! Later!

Dreary Weekend

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Well, my sister Kim is not coming to visit this weekend. :( I am totally bummed. That is the second weekend in a row she hasn't been able to make it because of the weather. Last weekend was Isaac's 1st birthday party and there was snow, ice, and treacherous roads. Thankfully, my sister Chantel, her husband Mike, and their two children Thomas and Tessa were able to make it to Isaac's party. My sister Kim's birthday was the day before Isaac's so the party was for her too. For now, her birthday cake is still frozen in the freezer I guess for another week. We'll see how good it is when she comes next week, if the weather is okay.

I don't know about anyone else, but I am ready for Spring! Spring is probably my favorite season of the year. Oh I don't know...now that I said that I love Summer and Fall too! Sure, snow is alright, but not when you live where they don't know how to clear the roads and all we have is ice storms and everyone freaks out every year. I love when everything turns green in Spring and all the flowers bloom! I also love tornado season. Now, I have lived in Oklahoma for my entire life and have never seen or been in a tornado once. Ironically, it's my most reoccuring dream. Just had one the other night! I don't really want to be in one, but I think seeing one from a distance would be cool and I like thunderstorms. I love Fall because the weather is just about perfect when things are just starting to cool off and it's like 75 all the time and the leaves start to turn pretty colors. I also LOVE college football! GO SOONERS! The best thing I like about Winter is Christmas because that's my birthday. It was more fun when I was younger, but I still love the Christmas season. I am pretty bah-hum-bug about it and don't want to listen to any Christmas carols until it's really time. I can't really stand Christmas shoppers, but giving and receiving gifts is always fun and of course, THE FOOD! :)

Well, I am in my third trimester of pregnancy and lately I have felt like the weather looks outside. I am tired all the time now. Taking care of Isaac during the day really wears me out. By the time he's had breakfast, a bath, and I've gotten him dressed, I am spent! I am happy to report that I haven't gained as much weight this time and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not yet. Last time I gained 38 pounds and this time I've only gained 13! WHO-HOO! :):):) Last time, I was less active because I was sitting down for work ALL DAY. I also ate cheeseburgers, fries, and fast food all the time. This time I am way more active with taking care of Isaac and being at home cleaning all the time. I am also eating way healthier too!

I've got exactly 10 weeks left before we meet Jenna Mae! Last night I started having some more Braxton Hicks contractions and I started getting worried about "What if my water broke early and I had a premature baby? What if they had to transport me by helicopter to the City? We don't have a new carseat for Isaac yet and none of our bags are packed! Would we leave Isaac with the in-laws or would Justin take him with us? Would I pack enough clothes and food for him to be taken care of while we are gone from home?" and I started feeling like I need to get things in order today. Guess it's the nesting process. I cleaned, straightened, and organized the guest bedroom and also the guest bathroom. I honestly love throwing stuff away. I hate clutter and needless junk and totally believe that every single, solitary thing in our home should have a purpose or function and if it doesn't, in the trash it goes. My husband is always wondering what I've thrown away next. Sincerely, you better take your chance to go through it when I ask you to or else you'll never see it again. :)

Brrr....it's cold outside, but I'm always warm since I'm pregnant! I love being pregnant in winter because you never get cold! I always used to get cold, but Jenna Mae keeps me well insulated. :) I'm like a hibernating Mother bear or something, HAHA! Well, time to go grocery shopping as soon as the Sooners Men's Basketball game is over, COME ON GUYS! I can't wait to buy some snacks! I am hungry ALL the time now and need something for those midnight cravings! Fritos and bean dip sounds really good! Later!

New Blog

Friday, February 5, 2010

Hello everyone! I used to have a blog atwww.justysguitargirl.blogspot.com but the last time I posted on it was October of 2006 and let's just say that A LOT has changed since then and I couldn't even get back into it to edit it at all.

So, where do we start? Justin and I are doing well! I quit working in October of 2009 and am now a stay-at-home wife and mother and I AM LOVING IT! We found out in August of 2009 that we are expecting again, and to our joy and surprise, we found out on November 19th, 2009 that we are expecting a BABY GIRL!!! We couldn't be happier and the timing is perfect for us. We have decided to name her Jenna Mae. First name Jenna, middle name Mae, sometimes we'll put it together, but her name is Jenna. So, our children will be 15 months apart and I think it will be wonderful to watch them grow up together!

Our baby boy Isaac Dale was born on January 28th, 2009 and he weighed 8 lbs. 2.1 oz. and was 21 1/4 inches long when he was born. Motherhood has been an absolute joy and an experience unlike any other I have ever known! Isaac turned 1 year old last Thursday and I cannot believe how fast the time has gone! We are happy we are going to have a new little baby-baby to fuss over since we can't go back in time with Isaac. Isaac's 1-year check-up went great and he now weighs 21 lbs. 2.5 oz. and is 29 3/4 inches tall! He is not walking yet, but he is pulling up on things to his knees so the doctor said walking should come soon. He was a late crawler too and the doctor said some children are more outgoing and rambunctious and some are more reserved and cautious like Isaac so that means he'll be a thoughtful boy who will think about something before he tries it...probably like his Mommy. :) I'm sure his sister Jenna will probably be a go-getter like her Daddy and I'm sure she'll learn a lot of things faster from watching her Big Brother! We can't wait to meet Jenna and just thinking of the day that Isaac gets to meet her for the first time is so very special! Isaac will say, "Baby, baby..." a lot and I'll say, "Where's the baby Isaac? Is the baby in Mommy's tummy?" and he'll come over to me, give my belly a hug and then bend down and kiss my belly...it is TOO SWEET!

Well, speaking of being a stay-at-home Mommy...I've got to get to some laundry and cleaning so I can relax a bit over the weekend when my sister is here! Talk to everyone later!