At the Feet of Jesus

Wow...like I said yesterday, nothing like a John Piper sermon to completely humble me, shut me up, and knock me flat on my face at the feet of Jesus.  After listening to a sermon from 1980 entitled "The Wisdom We Speak", I couldn't speak at all.  I just cried.  All throughout the sermon, points kept convicting me and tears just rolled down my face.  It was almost an involuntary reaction.  I love hearing sermons like that.  Sermons that take you straight to the Throne and literally face-to-face with Jesus.  Sermons where the speaker is actually totally removed from the picture and the Holy Spirit has really taken over and is speaking through them and the person isn't even there anymore.  Do you know what I'm talking about?  Just listen to one John Piper sermon and you'll find out what I'm talking about.

I felt the same way when Justin and I attended a National Youth Worker's Convention in Nashville, TN and The David Crowder Band led worship for us.  Another mind-folding experience.  I don't know what it is about David Crowder, but I am really convinced it has nothing to do with him at all, but rather it's God's anointing on the man.  When he led worship in that convention center........it was the closest I've ever come to heaven.  While worshipping with a common body of believers, I had to stop and look around and say, "Is this what heaven is going to be like?"  It's when a human mind really can't explain and can't fully wrap around it or comprehend it....that's when you know it's the Holy Spirit and the very essence of God and you can only experience it through the eyes of faith.

After listening to that sermon yesterday, I was just silenced by the Holy Spirit and felt the Lord saying to me, "Who do you think you are to speak on My behalf?"  It's like I felt unworthy to even say His name.  It's like, "Who am I to even be given the Word of God that I get to hold it in my hand and read it?" and then what's more, "How am I even able to understand what I'm reading? Oh...it's the Holy Spirit..."  Jesus' ministry only lasted 3 years and then He had to go.  Sometimes that thought makes me sad, but I don't stay sad because He left the Comforter, the Encourager, the Teacher with us.  He left Himself with us.  So, then I sit and ask myself "Why? Why would You do that for me, Lord?"  The song "All the Heavens" by Third Day explains how I feel pretty well, I have it linked below.  "All the angels exalt You on high, what a Kingdom to depart. But you left Your throne in the sky, just to live inside my heart. All the heavens cannot hold You, Lord. How much less to dwell in me?"  It's like, "WHY? Why would You do that?" and the only answer I feel from the Holy Spirit is, "Because I love you, that's why..." and it makes my mind fold!  I can't fully grasp that concept any more than I can try to wrap my mind around eternity, heaven, and how God has ALWAYS been.

Sometimes I can't even believe that people even try to write songs about God.  It's like, "Who do we think we are?"  To try to contain the Creator of the Universe and the Savior of the World into a few measly, human words...it's like nothing I could ever say or write would encompass Him!  On one hand, I am thankful for the songs, hymns, and praise choruses that have attempted this feat and "understand me" and how I feel about God.  On the other hand, He is so much more than my mind can conceive and no matter who writes what or sings what, He still can't be contained!  I wonder how Pastors and Preachers feel...to be given the great duty and calling to Shepherd a Flock and impart God's Word to them on a weekly basis....it's like, "On Who's Authority do you even exist, let alone speak on My behalf?"  It's the same with Worship Leaders and Music Ministers who are charged with the great task of leading God's people to the Throne and closer to God's face...it's like, "Who do I think that I am?"  I am just completely humbled because it's like, Who gave me my life anyway?  Who says I get to wake up today?  Who causes my heart to beat?  Who gives me the air I breathe?  Where do these songs come from?  Where did my ability to play the guitar come from?  Where do these poems and words come from?  NOT FROM ME!  There is NO WAY that I on my own am capable of this!  It ALL comes from Christ and how in the world could I do Him such a disservice by wasting it or selfishly keeping these gifts to myself?

Sometimes it takes a humbling slap in the face or rather a sweet encounter with Jesus to remind us of Who He is and who we are.  When I was saved, a praise band called "Little Us" was playing.  I never really understood what their name meant, but when I thought about it, it made sense.  Leading people in corporate worship has NOTHING to do with us, but EVERYTHING to do with Christ.  He must become greater, and we must become less!

Today I find myself thankful for just another breath.....another heartbeat.....another thought.....another moment.  Only God knows how many more of these I have.  My life is in Your hands Lord...have Your way in me.  Amen.

"All the Heavens" by Third Day (the guitar is beautiful throughout this song)